Reality Hits

photo credits: Confessions of Parenting

Another day. And this quote hits home on so many truthful aspects. 

These days, with advanced technologies like the cell phone, it seems people have forgotten the proper way of connecting. To me, nothing will ever beat the classic way of connecting with others, more specifically FAMILY. Yes, distances can be bridged with the help of data or Wi-fi connection, and that's one of the many pros, but it also cost us the old school style of getting in touch.

Are the days of paying an actual visit to our family member's house really gone that we're simply content with hitting that video call button thinking it will make up for being physically present?

I sure hope not. Because (again) it is 100% true what the above quote says. We don't want to be haunted by regret especially when the time comes that we can no longer be together with our loved ones.

 

Another Night

After an enriching weekend with family, I am here again, battling another grief attack.

You might ask, What is a grief attack? It is something that I equate to a panic attack.. 

ctto

I was watching 'Till There Was You and some scenes triggered the attack. In this movie, Piolo Pascual played a single father to Pipa (played by a young Eliza Pineda) and some father-daughter moments hit me and got the tears streaming. Pipa is such a sweet daughter, and she reminds me of our Monay, my niece from my youngest brother. What If scenarios played in my head once more. What if Monay didn't lose her Mama? What if they're still a complete family up to now? How different would things have been? How beautiful would their/our lives have become?

Questions. Questions that may be left unanswered. 

What I'd give to have a glimpse of that life for my Bunso and his family, had things not taken a different turn in 2022.

Battery Charged

 After working on-site yesterday, I picked up Mama, Kara, and (surprise surprise!) Papa. We drove to Bunso's place, stopped at Shell SLEx for late lunch at KFC and Starbucks courtesy of Papa. Since then, I've felt recharged. Family has been my source of strength when my dark days began.

Here, I am able to sleep soundly without the hassle of being woken to switch parking places and enjoy the company of my nieces. Next to Marikina, this is my peaceful place, and so I long to be here as much as possible.

Tomorrow is the last day of the work week for me, and I am looking forward to spending quality time with family before heading back to the metro.

Thank God for family and peaceful places.

💖

Begin Again?

photo grabbed from LinkedIn

Wednesday, July 3, 2024

More than two years from my last entry huh? That long? Geez! And I am here again, finally recalled how to access this page. The last two years, I can say that I just went through the motions of life. Gave the 'bare minimum'. Just existed. 

Ugh 2022. 

If it weren't for the birth of Bebe Gic and Taba's miraculous recovery, I truly, truly wish that it had just not happened. I still think of it as a nightmarish year of my life - battling depression, Taba getting terribly sick, my nearly fatal heart attack, and the worst - losing Bunsita. 💔😭

I was never the same after October 18 that year. I knew now how it felt to have a part of you DIE when we lost her. Fuck! The aftermath? Grief attacks. When it happens, I feel like drowning. That, no tears are enough to cry out the pain that resurfaces. It's like a big gash that's been stitched and then the stitches are pulled forcefully. 

May be going back to this page will help with my grief journey.

May be I'll find solace in creating entries that bare myself.

I don't know.