Reality Hits

photo credits: Confessions of Parenting

Another day. And this quote hits home on so many truthful aspects. 

These days, with advanced technologies like the cell phone, it seems people have forgotten the proper way of connecting. To me, nothing will ever beat the classic way of connecting with others, more specifically FAMILY. Yes, distances can be bridged with the help of data or Wi-fi connection, and that's one of the many pros, but it also cost us the old school style of getting in touch.

Are the days of paying an actual visit to our family member's house really gone that we're simply content with hitting that video call button thinking it will make up for being physically present?

I sure hope not. Because (again) it is 100% true what the above quote says. We don't want to be haunted by regret especially when the time comes that we can no longer be together with our loved ones.

 

Another Night

After an enriching weekend with family, I am here again, battling another grief attack.

You might ask, What is a grief attack? It is something that I equate to a panic attack.. 

ctto

I was watching 'Till There Was You and some scenes triggered the attack. In this movie, Piolo Pascual played a single father to Pipa (played by a young Eliza Pineda) and some father-daughter moments hit me and got the tears streaming. Pipa is such a sweet daughter, and she reminds me of our Monay, my niece from my youngest brother. What If scenarios played in my head once more. What if Monay didn't lose her Mama? What if they're still a complete family up to now? How different would things have been? How beautiful would their/our lives have become?

Questions. Questions that may be left unanswered. 

What I'd give to have a glimpse of that life for my Bunso and his family, had things not taken a different turn in 2022.

Battery Charged

 After working on-site yesterday, I picked up Mama, Kara, and (surprise surprise!) Papa. We drove to Bunso's place, stopped at Shell SLEx for late lunch at KFC and Starbucks courtesy of Papa. Since then, I've felt recharged. Family has been my source of strength when my dark days began.

Here, I am able to sleep soundly without the hassle of being woken to switch parking places and enjoy the company of my nieces. Next to Marikina, this is my peaceful place, and so I long to be here as much as possible.

Tomorrow is the last day of the work week for me, and I am looking forward to spending quality time with family before heading back to the metro.

Thank God for family and peaceful places.

💖

Begin Again?

photo grabbed from LinkedIn

Wednesday, July 3, 2024

More than two years from my last entry huh? That long? Geez! And I am here again, finally recalled how to access this page. The last two years, I can say that I just went through the motions of life. Gave the 'bare minimum'. Just existed. 

Ugh 2022. 

If it weren't for the birth of Bebe Gic and Taba's miraculous recovery, I truly, truly wish that it had just not happened. I still think of it as a nightmarish year of my life - battling depression, Taba getting terribly sick, my nearly fatal heart attack, and the worst - losing Bunsita. 💔😭

I was never the same after October 18 that year. I knew now how it felt to have a part of you DIE when we lost her. Fuck! The aftermath? Grief attacks. When it happens, I feel like drowning. That, no tears are enough to cry out the pain that resurfaces. It's like a big gash that's been stitched and then the stitches are pulled forcefully. 

May be going back to this page will help with my grief journey.

May be I'll find solace in creating entries that bare myself.

I don't know.

Slowly

 One entry every other day - not bad for someone coming back to the habit of chronicling.

It's everyone's weekend, but it's midweek for me later.

Today, we're claiming Kuya at Tito Rex's. Yesterday, we claimed the tail light that I ordered from Toyota and dropped it there. We had a late lunch of Mama's cooking: GG, Bicol express, Ginataang isda, and hot rice! 😍

We picked up a few stuff from the apartment before rushing home to make it to Gian's 5p.m. call.

Mama gifted us with a center table which I totally love!

I had such a good time seeing Mama and the kids! 💚

I'm hoping we can manage the tasks today like we did yesterday. 😀😀 

Baking inside

 I am not sure if it is just me or has the temperature suddenly increased that I feel I'm baking on the inside.

I've already gone to bed, ahead of Lablab, when past one in the morning, I felt sweat on my eye cover and I had this feeling all over my body of being soaked in water. So I got up, used the bathroom, drank 2 glasses of cold water, and tried to go back to sleep, but to no avail. I'm also considering it's because of my body clock which is used to being awake at this time (2:03 a.m.) for work. Or was it because we used the pool the first time? But it's weird because I felt really really exhausted that I was expecting to skip dinner and doze off right after hitting the bed or the sofa. But none of these happened. Instead, I'm left to wonder what's happening. Oh, I've also switched Lolo Bishi, another first, since we brought him from the old apartment.

Ugh! This is crazy!

So yesterday, Lablab and I agreed to go out and went to Toyota Balintawak to order the replacement tail/break light for Avionn. Thankfully, it was cheaper than the price quoted by Kuya Bert, Tito Rex's mechanic. The accessory will arrive tomorrow because it's Caloocan day today. Trinoma was our next stop where, my supposed single purchase of the Nike lunch bag that we found at Planet Sports was followed by goggles at Olympic Village, then the Invictus sneakers from World Balance, and was capped by a pair neon green sneakers from Traffic! Geez! I've gotta control my urge to splurge next time, although Lablab said my purchase was considerably cheaper than (for example) the cost of the Air Force One Rose that I wore yesterday. That at least justified my expense, but still, I need to be better at handling myself and my plastic.

   

It got me again!

 Sigh!

I let myself fall into laziness, again. I just realized it after opening my laptop and seeing that my last entry was almost one month ago. 

So here I am, will try to get back to posting entries, this time, with or without photos. I think at times, I was more pressured in finding the appropriate photo to accompany the entry. Now, the entry will come first, the photo will just be an icing.

PS (Bad luck feels)

I felt unlucky having been involved in 3 car-related mishaps in the span of two weeks.

January 31 - After Mama and I ran errands at SM Fairview, the first accident happened. A car tailed Avionn at the parking and in my attempt to get out of the space, I bruised Kuya's right front side. Thankfully, the headlights bore no damage. Lablab was not that mad, but reminded that I will shoulder the cost of the repairs.

February 4 - Parentals + Yagits drove to Bunso's and Bunsita's home for the weekend with Nunja at Biyaya. Bunsita realized that she left her phone inside Duchess so we agreed to meet Nunja at Monde as they already fetched Danila from work. We were already there, just on the opposite side of the road, and was almost done U-turning to the side where Duchess was parked when the second accident happened - a motor driven by a female rider with another female passenger hit Elias' read end (gas side fender). I'm telling you, my mind went blank and I had to let Nunja lead the discussions. Thankfully, the rider and her passenger did not sustain any serious injury and the motor had minor steering rod damage. We also agreed to shoulder our own repairs. I felt traumatized after that night.

February 9 - Wanting to decompress from a bad dream the previous morning, I invited Mama to go up to Antipolo to visit the Cathedral and San Pedro Calungsod Parish. All was well with my driving until we were leaving McDonald's after having brunch. I was backing Avionn and talking to Mama at the same time that I missed the warning alarm and Lablab's reminder and crashed into a Ford Everest. (Strike 3!) Silver lining, the owner was a fellow Leni supporter and agreed to be paid the price of a brand new brake light (P8,000). We proceeded with our planned visit to Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage, brought Mama home, picked up Elias from the garage, and drove to Tito Rex's shop where we had both cars assessed and Avionn to be repaired. I have to get the replacement tail lights from Toyota as Kuya's was badly cracked due to what happened and once he's repaired, Elias will be next.

I want to move on from these unfortunate events and I'm trying to. Just like I'd want to do better with this blogging comeback project that I've began last month.

Here's to manifesting better outcomes... :)  

Fridate

Here comes another weekend! I'm happy to have managed through this week so far. 

So because we still had not shipped the refrigerator from the apartment to the condo, Piggy and I went on a quick Fridate at the Ayala Malls Cloverleaf where we dined at Santouka Japanese restaurant and ordered ramen and takoyaki for dinner.

After eating, we shopped for rugs and a few grocery items before heading back.
 

Family

I was supposed to be a godfather to Unix, Kathleen's youngest son, but for personal reasons, they decided to reschedule the baptism and instead, celebrated his 1st birthday with family. I decided to push through with my planned leave yesterday and after an early morning reasoning with Kooks, I picked them up along with Papa and Mama past 9 a.m. and we drove over to once more surprise Bunso and Bunsita. 

Suffice to say that we all had a great time being together - from watching Space Jam (1996) and Sing 2, to eating, playing Bingo (and me winning P100 in the 1st blackout round), and 1-2-3 pass until it was time to say goodbye and head back to QC after lunch today.

I will make sure to indulge in any of my family's request for time to be together, because this is what gives me life and motivation.

💗

 

Ate K

 

This post will remind me in the future to celebrate life. Today, I choose to celebrate the life of a good colleague who I worked closely with during our 2013 Interim Supervisor days handling Chaseworks (project-based) employees - Ate K.

I got the sad news while within shift from a former team member and validated it from another.

Eternal rest grant unto the soul of Catherine Obal-Alivia and let perpetual light shine upon her. Please watch over her daughter Bianca too, Lord. Amen 

Growth

 

Four days of no entries! I'm sorry I was lazy. Allow me to catch up...

Saturday, January 15

I left after my shift, picked up the parentals, loaded stuff for the Bunsos, and drove to SLEX. We stopped at Jollibee because Papa was hungry. After getting the complete order, we went straight to the Bunsos and both were surprised. :)

I had my interview (Jessa's project) that afternoon, then we went to Puregold for groceries.

Mama cooked her spaghetti at Bunsita's request and we had it for dinner. I slept while talking to Bunsita as she was disinfecting the goods that we got from the grocery. 

Sunday, January 16

I woke up past midnight, to another meal of rice and ham! Shortly thereafter, I encouraged everyone to sleep and that's when my "shift" began. I stayed up until morning light came, snoozing for 30 minutes until past 7 a.m. Mama and Bunsita began their preparations for the much-requested molo soup while Bunso and Papa went for their morning walk. When the soup was cooked and Papa and Bunso were home, we ate breakfast and said our goodbyes at a little past 8 a.m. We were home after a 1-hour and 15-minute drive. (Thank you Lord for the light traffic!)

Next destination was the apartment where I gathered more stuff. I was home past 10 a.m. (saw the assembled dining set) and we hurried up to catch Spiderman No Way Home at SM City Grand Central. Piggy and I were late, but still managed to watch and understand the movie. After the movie, we roamed around and stopped at Apple, and Digital Walker (for the iPad that Piggy was looking for) and ACE Hardware (platera similar to the one I saw at SM City Sta. Rosa was not available).

We agreed to book massages (at 4pm) early to be home early on a Sunday, which we have not had for quite sometime. We left ISF at 7p.m. and stopped at Puregold Commonwealth to buy ingredients for a decent ulam since we survived on noodles and canned goods during the week. Sinigang was the choice that night. Tired, we slept within an hour and a half after dinner.

Monday, January 17

My monthly chiropractic session was moved yesterday due to the alert level implemented until January 15. Posture Perfect decided to sanitize the clinic at SM Fairview and rescheduled impacted appointments. I left almost at 11 a.m.. traffic was light, but I still arrived 12:40-ish at the clinic. Session was quick, I was crispy on the neck (hahaha!). I decided that I'd continue my monthly sessions there so that I'll have at least one confirmed day that I'll be near my folks' place and get to visit them.

I got 2 pcs. turon langka and water before leaving the mall, stopped by our favorite carinderia - got the last dinuguan order + sisig, and then went to pick up more stuff from the apartment (clothes, coffee maker, speakers, induction cooker, platera, water jug, toaster, gift plates and utensils, and Lolo Bishi) I was dog tired (will definitely get a massage this weekend). I stopped by at Mama's, chanced upon Khan playing and Mama cleaning up. I played with the kids for a bit, and challenged them to a first-to-make-5-points in makeshift basketball where I promised a prize to whoever wins. Kara did! :) The prize, a visit to their Tito Manyee and Ninang Bestie on Wednesday. Mama gave me the two potted plants in the photo above nd gave me care instructions. :) I left for the condo with my loot.

It was MLK holiday in the US yesterday, but I had to login to work to help with comm requests that came in. 

Tuesday, January 18

Started my morning with getting the gate pass for Lolo Bishi, Speakers, and induction cooker approved, getting Kuya's sticker installed, and bringing up the approved appliances. The the St. Benedict door bantay fell from its hook and broke, the TV was lowered from its original mount, and the water tower arrived. I had to re-do my workstation set up to give way to the lowered TV, but all's fine.

It's back to work tonight, but VL again tomorrow!

Weekend!

Smiling because this is the last shift of the week. Tomorrow, we're surprising Bunso and Bunsita with a visit, so that's also something I'm looking forward to. I'm also smiling because the unit is slowly becoming homier and homier. Today, the sofa set and dining set arrived. The dining set will be assembled tomorrow and Piggy will be here to supervise it. We're looking to add more of the stuff from the apartment to our unit, but need to plan it well so we won't cram the space with unnecessary stuff.

Thank you, Lord for seeing us through this week at work! 💕

 

Dawn

The promise of a new day.

Thank you Papa God for giving me this beautiful morning view!

Please bless our undertakings for today and make them Yours!

💓

 

A lot has happened!

There's no excuse. As the title implies, plenty of things happened over the weekend. 

Saturday, Jan. 8

First up, we finally moved in! 🏠😀 The rescheduled turn over of Piggy's unit became a reality! Aside from getting our hands on the keys of the unit, our Globe Wi-Fi had been relocated, and PLDT linemen also managed to install my personal Wi-Fi! 🖧

We stopped by at Ever Gotesco to buy trash bags and mop that we used to clean the dusty floors.

Because the apartment no longer has the Wi-Fi, we proceeded to get stuff like beddings, the gadgets, and a few changes of clothes before heading back to the condo to spend our first night. Oh, we did our personal house blessing, too! 💙

 Sunday, Jan. 9

I did not experience the proverbial "namamahay" feels on the first night at our unit and managed to get a decent sleep. We woke up with ample time to prepare for it was Piggy's booster shot schedule at the Nayong Pilipino Foundation Drive-thru facility. So we drove all the way to (the now demolished) Coastal Mall and queued for almost 45 minutes only to be told to return because it was not yet the third month since the last dose. Not wanting to waste our day, we decided to look for a church where we'll attend mass since it was officially the last day of Christmas and then scout for things we need in the condo. Cubao was the area of choice since the Nativity of our Lord Parish is near and the next mass was not until 4pm (It was past 1 p.m. at that time). We parked at Ali Mall and stopped at Sogo Furniture. We spotted a small, L-shaped sofa that's less than P13,000 and a black, 4-seater dining set under P8,000 which we both liked, and a charming and kind salesman named Kerwin who assisted us, but decided to think things first over lunch.  We stopped at the Automatic Center beside Sogo to check on range hood, a requisite appliance to suck smoke coming from cooking. We found options with La Germania, but still decided to look at another store - Western. Too bad, Western only had 60cm hoods (we initially thought ours was only 50cm) and so we went back to Ali Mall and headed to the food court where had our late brunch. We crossed over to SM Cubao after eating and what initially was just a plan to look for range hood options turned to actual purchase of not just the range hood, but also a microwave oven and a new induction cooker with two "burners". (I honestly don't know what to call it. 🤣)

While in the element, Piggy decided he no longer wanted to look for other sofa and dining set options so we called Sogo, asked for Kerwin and said we'd buy both after SM. Piggy set his eyes on a brown 4-seater dining set so we had to take that along with the L-shaped sofa set. After paying for the sets and thanking Kerwin for this help, we went back to SM Appliance to claim our purchases and requested assistance to bring them to Ali Mall's parking lot (guards were kind enough to let the SM staff "cross" with our lot).

Not done with our to-do list yet, we stopped by the apartment and pulled out our computer tables, stools, electric fans and some other small stuff before agreeing we're done.

Monday, Jan. 10

The day was spent securing the gate pass for our apartment loot so we can bring up work-related furniture. Workmen also came to install the screen door and the range hood. Because we didn't want to order, I ran to the Ayala Malls Cloverleaf and shopped for rice and canned goods.

After hours of sweeping and mopping, I set up my workstation near the veranda. I managed to survive the Monday shift with only Apple and myself on the shift and despite being tired, only...

Tuesday, Jan. 11

...I recalled that my work badge is still in the apartment and I won't be allowed access to NP without it. Today was my booster shot schedule so I needed to get it. I drove back to the apartment and got not just the ID but also collected the pail, outdoor slippers, and our computer chairs! 😁

A good friend and peer agreed to cover for the closing shift so I managed to sleep after my shift and woke up before 9 a.m. to prepare to go to NP. I arrived just in time to accomplish the steps and got myself inoculated with (still) AZ for my booster.

Piggy and I met at Gateway where I managed to score a new and cute display (will be on a separate entry) at St. Paul's religious store, dined at Max's (again) for late lunch and then proceeded to our apartment where this time, we got the TV, big frames, and 5-7w bulbs that we used to replace the 50-watt condo bulbs.

Oh! After waiting years for the final installment of the book, this one finally arrived this afternoon (ordered it in Shopee from Fully Booked)! 😍

Getting old habits back

I recall mentioning in my New Year's post that I'll go through the resolutions that I wrote down for 2022. This book here signals the attempt to be good at one (no, TWO!) of my NY resolutions - get back to reading and keep my hands off my mobile phone as much as I can.

I have always loved reading and read many books for as long as I can remember. However, when the pandemic struck and I began working from home, what I thought would be more time for reading since I won't be commuting to the office took a different turn. My reading pace dwindled until I wasn't reading anymore!

And so this month, I'm getting back on track. More of my resolutions in my succeeding entries. 

💖Kulot
 

Answered Prayer

 I had been checking my phone consistently yesterday, hoping to see that email that would confirm the results of the RT-PCR that I took. To be honest, I still feared for the worst because it was a 50/50 probability. 

But God is good and He listens to prayers! 

As I navigated through the landing pages that would take me to the screen/page showing the results, I arrived at this! Negative! This is the second time that I had been this delighted and thankful to see this word!

Thank you Lord! I now have the peace of mind that I needed. Still, the battle is out there. The virus is still lurking, so we still owe it to ourselves and our loved ones to exercise caution when going out.

Praying for everyone's safety. 💗

God's year

 (photo credit: The Facebook Page of The Letterer)

The accompanying photo sums up how I would like 2022 to be - God's year. Knowing me, I'd expect myself to take the wheel on occasions, but I will try my best to let go and let God. This perfectly aligns with the Hopeful year I'm praying 2022 to be. 

It's been five days since we welcomed the new year, and 360 days doesn't seem that far from today.

Lord, help me to make this year, Your year. May Your will be done, not mine. Amen

📿  Kulot

Certainty

Before 2021 closed, I got down with fever and after what I thought was the recovery stage where I'm left with the cough and colds (which usually is the case), I felt a little off. Add to that the fact that I spent a few short minutes of the new year with my family (along with my second-born brother who also had fever the same day I did, 29th), I got paranoid. So yesterday, I discussed the idea of getting a swab test with my youngest brother, and to have that peace of mind in knowing what my true status is, I went to Ayala Fairview Terraces this afternoon (tough luck! RT-PCR test kits ran out when I arrived) and managed to walk in at SM's Drive To Swab facility.

I am manifesting that the symptoms I'm feeling are but the remnants of the fever I had, and not what I dread it to be. Cases have been spiking and the IATF had to recommend the Alert levels to be changed from 2 to 3, with curfews implemented in some areas of the NCR.

Lord, please let the results be negative.

📿Kulot

HOPE

 I chose this word to be my guiding virtue this year. I welcomed the year full of it and I will always have it in mind to ward of doubt.

After attending the January 1 mass at San Jose Ang Tagapangtanggol Parish, I drove off praying the rosary. First stop was the Unionbank branch at Quezon Avenue where I withdrew money for my payables. Next, I headed to Marikina Rivermall, stopped by the Guess store to ask about this tote bag that I like and was told promising news that they might have it in their inventory in the future, so I left my contact information. Also, from the kind store attendants, I found out that the mall is open only until 9 p.m. That's when I headed to the grocery and picked up rice, corned beef, canned tuna, and coconut water for my UTI. Total expense: P991! 

I brought my groceries back to where Elias was parked and then proceeded to walk the path towards the amphitheater, which I found out was barricaded with wire. The carnival was there again, but it was too crowded that I just decided to continue walking the rest of the way, taking pictures as I walked along, going to the food stalls until I reached the parking area and decided to head home.

Last stop before home was Petron at Doña Carmen where XCS was at P54.06 per liter, relatively cheaper than other branches (Philcoa in particular) that I've passed while driving.

Turning a new leaf

Ushering another year after a rather challenging one, it's natural to feel unnerved for we do not know what will unfold. Yet this year, I choose to be a little bit more focused, to make better use of my time, and so I decided to launch a two-fold project: this being the first half and the other is on TikTok. I call it #DailyEntryProjectfor2022 which will be daily chronicles of what goes through with my day/life. This time around, I will commit to making this a success.

Today being a holy day of obligation, I attended mass (Thank you, Lord!) though challenged by what I think is a urinary tract infection. Coinciding with the Feast of the Epiphany of Jesus, the readings alluded to the magi who looked to the Star of David that guided them to the manger. During the homily, Fr. Jerome Ponce OFM reminded us to keep people who are stars in our lives - those who bring us back to the right path when we go astray and those who have our best interest at heart. 💝

P.S. I also commit to spending less time on socmed (aka, phone handling), but that will be elaborated in another entry.

For now, I close this first baby step towards making 2022 a year to look back.

👑Kulot

1998

I just finished watching the above-entitled movie. top-billed by Albert Martinez, Eric Quizon, and Lorna Tolentino. In so many ways, this movie opened my eyes and my young, curious, inquisitive and closeted mind to the world I was treading at the time. The plot centers around Ron and Nick, a gay couple, and Annie whom Ron got pregnant after a one-night stand encounter. Annie then proceeds to "terrorize" the couple's once quiet life by inserting herself not just in the relationship, but in their lives. The trio eventually develop love for each other, but not without the proverbial struggles. There are several lovely, somber moments as their affection builds and it just goes to show that love knows no gender. 

The movie was released on April 5, 1998. Yes, 1998! Back then, I was still in the journey of getting to know myself as a teenager slowly transitioning to adulthood. I was 16, fresh out of high school and (probably) awaiting my PUP entrance exam results when I watched this movie by my lonesome. I passed the PG-13 screening because, well, I was already past that age, though I was still surprised by some of the gestures like Albert kissing Eric and their intimate scene.

Back then and even now, having watched the movie, it still has the same feel-good effect because everything ended well for the three main characters. Too bad I cannot download it because the YouTube link is not recognized by the tool that I am using. Nevertheless, I am glad to have had the chance to watch this movie then and re-watch it now.

Truly, everybody is FREE TO LOVE. 💗

Nostalgic

Another Friday on leave. Still have that little pain on my right arm due to the vaccination last Tuesday. I generally don't like to be left alone with my thoughts because they can run amok and cause me anxiety. Like now. While praying the rosary, several thoughts came across my mind, distracting me, and made my heart race. 

Turning to YouTube, I looked up the Streetboys, a 90's all-male dance group who I have idolized growing up. I felt relieved watching their performances from way back, taking me to those years when I was just a teenager. Somehow, the anxiety was abated.

Socmed detox now comes to mind.

Hopeful

 

So part of the internal struggle I've had this year had to do with almost the whole family contracting Covid-19. Yes!  It's what I called a 'dark period' in our lives, what with the worries and stress it brought us because Papa showed severe symptoms manifested by his low oxygen saturation levels and me developing symptoms, too.

But God is good, for He not only gave us our bigger family who assisted us with our needs, He also made Papa's body respond to the DIY home care that we crafted for him. And so after our respective isolation periods, we were given clearances and moved forward in life, more careful than before.

Then one by one, with the help of God-sent friends, my family got inoculated with vaccines. Ours happened yesterday, July 20th. I am thankful that it came earlier than the allocation I've been waiting for at work; that it happened with enough time for us to rest before reporting to work last night.

And for as long as the government and private sector continue their efforts of administering the vaccines, the future of Filipinos looks bright.

Monday Musings

The start of another work week. Had a good night's sleep since we succumbed to it earlier than usual yesterday because we were all tired from the unplanned road trip to Tanay Rizal. What was initially a date with my youngest brother and sister-in-law instantly turned to a family affair. Avionn, our trusty, new baby, brought us to Cafe Katerina, a restaurant located along Mayagay, Tanay, Rizal, offering indoor and al-fresco dining to its customers.

Today, I woke up to a text message from Papa inviting us to have lunch with them. 🧡

After our lunch date of home-cooked food, I decided to continue my work on my Vision Board (VB). I recall from my previous entry that I'd post the finished product, but I thought this project will be a continuous one, with goals marked 'Completed' as I move along, so here's the current look of it:

My main/current goal: Be Debt-Free.

Admittedly, having access (once again) to the plastic that is the credit card, I felt the same euphoria and excitement that comes along with having the borrowed spending capability that in the last 3 years, I've made some purchases that otherwise, I would have not had I thought about the long term instead of instant gratification. Presently, I'm paying off previous purchases and am in the process of reviewing my finances to make better future plans.

I'm trying to be a bit wiser this time and I aim to stick to that plan.

Anyhow, I'm still planning to add some more to my VB, so as I post more, I'd also share more about it.

Good morning!

Another weekend is upon me and I am still nowhere near my goal of cleaning my space at the family compound. I've made little progress last Monday, but that resulted to me being lethargic from that night's shift until Thursday's. 

I'm supposed to have Bunso's and Bunsita's help today however, they just had their anti-Covid-19 vaccine yesterday so I cannot ask them yet. I might (No! I must) do something there like clean a bit more, no matter how small.

Yesterday, I went to Ever Gotesco Commonwealth and got me the materials for my Vision Board. Being an visual person, I wanted a space where I can write my goals on paper, post them and see to their fruition. I want to experience the 'high' of it once more. Then again, I must work on putting the board all together first since I also bought baubles to decorate it.

(Lookie! I'm adding a photo! Oh what fun!🤣)

I just realized that we're half past another month. And though at times, anxiety still creeps from around some of my life's corners because I constantly have this feeling that I haven't accomplished much yet this year, I just remind myself that I need to take it one day at a time.

PS. I'll post the finished product (hopefully) in the next entry. 😘

💖Kulot

Unidentified Feeling (Free-flowing entry)

July 15, 2021 Thursday

That's what I'd like to call what I have been feeling these days. No, it's not because I'm sick. I just happen to feel tired, not wanting to do anything, to the point that I think I am procrastinating at life.

There are days when I feel lazy. There are days when I just think a lot, but inasmuch as I would like to write down my thoughts like I used to when I was younger, I end up not doing it. 

I sometimes wonder what has happened to me (or what did I allow myself to happen) since this pandemic hit. I mean, I see a lot of well-adjusted people who, after about a few months, have 'settled' and 'harmonized' their lives with the 'new normal'. Me? I see myself nowhere near some of them. Then again, there's no point in comparing how I pace my life with others simply because each race is different.

And so I just find solace that I was able to open this page today after an eternity and once again put my thoughts into words.

I remember wanting to be better at chronicling so I revived this blog even though no one would probably take interest in this aside from me, but I fell for the 'ningas kugon' affliction - magaling sa umpisa.

Anyhow, to each his own, right? One baby step at a time. I am not yet good at thinking of what topic to write about, so I'll just let each entry be free-flowing.

I'm quite proud that I've written this much in a single entry. 😊

16 February 2021, Tuesday

Found myself on YouTube, bingeing away on videos of Steps', 5ive's, 911's, Atomic Kitten's, Honeyz' and B*Witched's reunions. Man these groups sang the songs that pretty much formed the music of my youth! There's mixed nostalgia and reality all rolled into one. Nostalgia flowed when old videos were shown, taking me back to almost the close of 1990's and onward to the millennium. For reality's part, that kicked when the artists were being interviewed during the present (which is still many many many years away from today) and I saw how many of them have matured in looks. This is kind of tricky because of the combined feelings brought about by watching takes you back in time but then pulls you back into reality almost at the same time that you get a whiplash. Nevertheless, the songs of these groups' and many others like them continue to dominate my playlist, even now when I'm closing to pushing 40.

♥

2021 Day after Valentine's

Geez! 

Bringing back the habit of chronicling my life isn't as easy as I thought. And I am working from home for that matter huh!

Well, let this be Day #1 of the 21-day for Project #BuildConsistencyinBloggingandVideotapingMyLife :)

Good luck to me!

PS - Hope you spent ♥'s Day well.

Your HesitantBlogger

Day 2...

"When I look at my life
How the pieces fall into place
It just wouldn't rhyme without you

When I see how my path
Seem to end up before your face
The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars"

Lines to the song that blasts through my ears as I write this entry.

Realizations. Destiny. Fate. Just some of the concepts that pop into mind while listening to the song.

To whoever comes across this entry, I know that like me, you must have realized the amount of 'extra' time we've all been given since we were placed in quarantine. If you're blessed to be working from home, you no longer have the hassle of waking up hours before your shift to prepare. No commuting. More convenient, right? More time for extra snoozes of your cellphone until you have just about 10 to 15 minutes before your Zoom call begins.

We're put in a better position to learn to manage our activities so in turn, we spend our time wisely. I recall filing all my leaves for the year as early as January 2 with the same idea in mind - finish the things I planned for the days I'd be out of the office. And since this 'new normal' kicked in, I can say that I've managed to check some off my 'Accomplish List' and am trying to do more.

♥

2020! Your Anonymous Fan is BACK!

6 years from my last entry...how odd?!

It never occurred to me that I'd be writing again, here in my blog. And what a relief that I'm doing it now! Finally, catharsis! For so many years, I've thought about this page I've stared 8 years ago to share my thoughts, and once more, I'm home.

With the world slowly acclimating to the pandemic, I'm hoping to soon get settled into the habit of publishing entries. No promises this time, just small steps until this again becomes part of my norm.

♥